Go On
by Your Caffeine Queen
Summary: Though they had their lives planned out, an unexpected change in Vale makes Roman question his possible future with Neo. Blind!Roman AU where we can pretend he didn't die.


Overwhelming pain and utter desolation were two of the only constants in Roman Torchwick's life as he stumbled over crumbled rock and metal, between half-destroyed buildings and down empty roads. The section of Vale he'd landed in was little more than a mess of ruins and Grimm, the latter roaming without clear route or path through the gaps in search of easy prey. The armed Huntsman were not good prey and the civilians were either dead or already evacuated, tucked away somewhere safe.

He passed his hands—bruised and cut and still covered in fresh blood—over destroyed walls as his foot caught on a stray piece of rock and he fell, plummeting towards the ground. His head hit part of a crumbled beam on the way down and, the hopelessness of the situation finally getting to him, he cursed and gave up on searching for help. In an attempt to stop the bleeding from the new gash across his forehead and skull, he ripped a piece of fabric from his clothes and tied it as accurately as he could in his current state around the wound.

While he could hear the same noises as before the fall of the city—a cacophony of blaring noises, a chaos he would've enjoyed had it not been for his situation—there was something wrong.

Darkness filled his vision.

His eyes, damaged by a blinding light several moments before coming from the tower, no longer saw the kingdom. They no longer saw the destruction he'd aided to cause, nor the remnants of a city he'd almost once called home.

It was torment.

He thought of Neo. His light, and the only real source of happiness he knew. There was no chance at finding her anymore—not like this. For all he knew, she was buried under the rubble of their former home, her small frame crushed by the weight of it all. Or worse—one of the Grimm could've torn her apart, piece by piece. At the thought of his love dying, he let out a pained sob and dragged himself to his feet.

Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance. He couldn't see the Grimm prowling the streets but listened for them as best he could, staying closer to the walls that were left standing and hoping for the best. The time was no longer a concern, as Roman had no way to tell what time it was anyways. It didn't matter to him either, what time it was.

Only she mattered. Finding her. Having her with him one last time.

Blood seeped through his makeshift bandage and down his face once more, dripping onto the rest of his clothes and falling onto the pavement at his feet. He leaned against the wall at his side, resting his head, before sinking to his knees. The bite of loose pebbles cutting into his palms meant nothing. The dull pounding of his head meant nothing. As he tilted his head back towards the sky and stared at nothing, his thoughts continued to return to Neo.

By getting her into the mess with Cinder and the rest of them, he'd endangered her. They'd been comfortable living a simple life of crime; stealing Dust from shops or shipments and selling the stuff to whoever paid them the most, performing little cons here and there to survive. They'd been _happy_. But he'd dragged her into a world of hurt, all for just a little more cash. All for the slightest chance at giving her a hope of a life where they didn't need to lie, cheat, and steal to survive. Nothing had been assured, but he'd jumped at the chance and had fallen into the worst possible scenario.

The taste of salt mingled with the metallic taste already on his lips. Roman hadn't realized he was crying.

Before he could raise a gloved hand to wipe it away, a soft yet freezing finger passed across his face, clearing away the tears in one quick movement. He felt it move away before resting on his cheek, but the person did not speak.

She didn't need to, either. "I thought I'd lost you," he murmured. "I thought you were gone, I thought I'd never see you…" His own words stopped him. He wouldn't _see_ her again. Taking a moment to clear his throat, he continued. "I thought you were gone. I was terrified, Neo. Absolutely terrified."

No response, but he hadn't been expecting one. Before, he'd been able to tell how she was feeling, what she was thinking with just a simple glance. But those days were gone, and so he kept going.

"You are the best thing that happened to me. Without you, Neo… Without you, I'd have no reason to continue. You are my life. The moment you stepped into my life all those years ago, you became the only thing that mattered. I remember seeing you dressed so elegantly and yet so prepared to fight. I remember knowing you were the one, knowing that I needed to have you at my side every day. I love you, Neo. I really do."

The kiss she gave him was demanding, needing. It told him she felt the same way, but that was now a problem. That had been all he'd wanted for the longest time, but now it was a painful reminder of a life he couldn't live going on, of a future he'd never be able to give her. A future where they didn't need to worry about money or the law or keeping a low profile. A life they could share and be happy living.

It pained him to push her away. To shift his head down and away from her. "You need to go. You need to get up and go," Roman insisted. "I can't see you. I can't live like this, and I can't let you to live with me in this state. I don't want to weigh you down."

She couldn't speak and convince him otherwise. She couldn't voice how she felt, and he thought it was for the best. At least he wouldn't need to worry about the torment that hearing her hurt would cause him.

"You could do so much. You could go so far. But I would keep you from reaching that, and I'd never be able to forgive myself for keeping you from that future. I would never be able to live knowing you were settling for a life of taking care of me. So please," he pleaded, his hands out before him to push her further, "please go."

There was one final kiss from her, gentle and hesitant and lingering, before he heard her light footsteps kick away stones and travel down the path he'd come from. Once they were gone, he curled up in a tight ball and cried.

She was gone, and he was alone.


End file.
